Early Sexual Experiences #1

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In the 1980's there was an elderly gentleman who published anthologies containing true gay sex stories written by his readers.  I am not going to mention his name here because he may have used some of my stories, and I don't know whether they are still under copyright.  (He told me once that the copyright for my stories would revert back to me, but I need to investigate the matter.)  This man had an uncanny ability to weed out stories that were fictional and/or sounded made-up.  Indeed, people who write about their sex experiences often embellish them, and that destroys the sense of authenticity.  I sent him a series of letters containing my best sexual experiences, and I have decided to post them here.  Not every story is steamy hot, but I think my readers will enjoy some of them.

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September 6, 1985

Dear Bob,

Thank you for your letter in response to my note.

In your letter, you say that it is inspiring that I have several hundred cocksucking experiences to report.  Actually, most of those experiences were unremarkable and not worth mentioning.  Only a handful, perhaps two dozen, are worth writing about.

You made one comment in your letter which I must agree with:  You said, "The simple truth is more pornographic than pornography, which lacks credibility."  You are so right.  A good example of this is the magazine "FirstHand".  When FirstHand was first published, it consisted primarily of authentic, first-hand accounts of sexual encounters.  With each issue, however, it became more pornographic until, as of a year ago (which was the last time I read it), most of the stories were obviously fictional.  The magazine lost all its appeal.

Now, about me:

I may not be exactly the type of writer that you like, for several reasons:  First, I am one of those legions of young urban gays (yuggies?) that you have mentioned are so ubiquitous and who all seem to have the same story to tell.  Second, I do all my writing on a word processor, and nary a word leaves my fingers which is not then revised a dozen times.  (Sorry, but I can't change my habits overnight.)  Third, I don't like foreskins, body odors, scat, urine, bondage, dangerous situations, smelly underwear, etc.  I know it sounds boring but you must have some readers who like my kind of sex, so my stories will appeal to somebody.

I am 35 years old, about 5'7", a bit overweight at 165 lbs., with an average-sized cock.  I didn't get a taste for cocksucking until I was 27.  At that time, I had lost a lot of weight, was thin and attractive, and started going to bars.  I quickly became a regular at the International Stud (now defunct), a backroom bar on Greenwich Street in Greenwich Village.  The Stud became like a second home to me, and I went there four to five times a week, coming in from Brooklyn where I lived.  When I first started going I would spend most of the evening in the front room playing pool and pinball.  I would occasionally sneak into the back, sit on a bench in the thick of the action, and just watch.  I was afraid to get involved, partly because I didn't think I could satisfy anyone.  Also, the whole idea of just putting my hand out and touching the private parts of a stranger was new to me.  Once I got used to the idea, for a long time I confined my activities to feeling the asses and cocks of guys who were having sex with others.

I use poppers a lot and it happened that my popper habit started at the same time I got into cocksucking.  I remember the first time very distinctly:  One of the regulars of the bar was a large, stocky (but not fat), young guy with a cute face and straight blond hair.  His dick was obviously large and always hung several inches down his leg.  I had wanted him for a long time.  One night I found myself standing near him in the back (which was always crowded so that people got pushed up against each other).  I reached out and started groping him.  He was receptive, so I unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out.  At that moment, someone handed him some poppers, which he handed to me.  The poppers sent such a shot of anticipation through me that I felt faint.  His cock was long, thick and straight, and I sucked on it for a long time.  The poppers made the experience unbelievably vivid.  Finally, he came without making a sound.  After that, I was hooked on poppers and cocksucking.

The best person I ever sucked was a Puerto Rican man named Alberto, who also frequented the Stud.  Alberto was 41 years old but looked much younger.  The first time I saw him he was leaning against the back wall of the backroom.  He was about 6'2" tall, lean, and had a real seductive look to him.  I started to grope him and he was receptive.  His crotch felt substantial, and when I opened his jeans, I had to use both hands to lift his genitals out.  His cock was cut, about 8" and thick, and nearly straight with perhaps a slight curve downward.  The best part, though, was his balls:  They were unusually large, round and plump.  The balls inside the sack were large and the sack itself was large, round and firm.  I was never able to get even one of his balls into my mouth, much less both.

In the months to come I sucked Alberto perhaps 8-10 times.  Alberto really knew how to get sucked.  He would lean against the wall with his hips thrust forward; I would get on my knees and suck him slowly, using my hands and mouth together, and massaging his balls at the same time.  He would slowly grind his hips as I sucked.  When I would suck his balls, he would push his hips forward and grind them into my face.  I would alternate sucking his cock and balls and rubbing my face into his genitals.  Sucking Alberto was great because there was always a feeling of fullness:  My hands were full and my mouth was full.  I didn't have to scale down my hunger to fit smaller equipment.

Alberto's orgasms were nice.  He would grind his hips faster and, sometimes, hold my head in his hands.  He always came a lot, and I always swallowed it.  When it was over, everything would be wet -- my face, my hands, his crotch.  He wouldn't put his genitals away, though; he would remain standing against the wall with his hips thrust forward, and I would just massage his genitals while we talked, rubbing his big balls and cock every which way.  His genitals were so satisfying to touch that I never got tired of it.  I still have vivid fantasies about Alberto and wish I could see him again.

Alberto was a bit of a degenerate.  According to him, he went through an altruistic period when he was younger, but then became cynical and bitter.  At the time I knew him, he drank two quarts of beer every night (he said).  He had a boyfriend about his age who was emotionally dependent on him; when Alberto would start to feel cooped up, he would go to a backroom and fool around.  In the time that I knew him, he occasionally talked about leaving his lover for me, but of course that never happened.  Alberto was also selfish; he didn’t care about my health.  He would fuck guys without a condom in the Stud’s back room, and then he would feed me his cock without washing it.  I ended up getting intestinal parasites from him.  Still, he was a total turn-on.

Cocksucking wasn't the only thing I did at the Stud.  I also picked up several one-night stands.  One of them was named Brandt.  Brandt was 29 and very handsome, with classic facial features and hair that always sat just right.  He had one of those athletic-type bodies that are hard all over, even when the muscles are relaxed, and he had a slender waist and hips.  In Brandt's case, his body's hardness was genetic, since, according to him, he was not athletic.  He did do regular calisthenics, though, and his chest was particularly well-developed -- his pecs were large, round and hard and I couldn't keep my hands off them.  His cock was a bit less than average -- about 5" and average width -- but I didn't mind.  He was such a turn-on, it didn't matter.

We met in the backroom at a time when it was not crowded.  We kissed for a while, and then went to his place.  Our bodies fit together like they were made for each other.  He fucked me twice and I fucked him once, and I rimmed him.  We kissed passionately throughout.  I know that I was satisfying him from the way he reacted, but I was nonetheless tense the whole time because I just couldn't believe that I was in bed with such a gorgeous guy.  I was pretty insecure in those days and I was not as unattractive as I believed.

Of all the one-night stands I have ever had, Brandt is the one that I would have liked to see again, but I really screwed it up in a royal fashion.  First, I came down with amoebic dysentery; and since I had rimmed him, I implied on the phone that he may have given it to me.  Also, I called him too many times, each time getting angrier that he was not calling me back.  If I had been more relaxed about the whole thing, he might have called me at some point, but my attitude scared him off.  Finally, I saw him at the Stud.  I was so proud and resentful that I ignored him all night.  He spent a long time watching me play pool and I know I could have had him if only I had changed my attitude.  What a dope I was.

One of the most exciting experiences I ever had was when I was 23 or 24, before my Stud days.  At that time I was also in a thin period and I had a lover who was five years younger.  My lover had a friend named Warren who was about his age (18-19) and was a light-skinned black, very cute, and on the small side, being about 5'6" and slim.  My boyfriend had known him since adolescence.  It seems that they had been fooling around for a while:  They would watch TV together or talk and then Warren would pretend to fall asleep, at which point my lover would go down on him.  When my lover told me that Warren's cock was huge, I had to have it.

At that time my lover and I lived in adjoining furnished rooms with sliding doors between.  He invited Warren over one night.  Late in the evening we were talking in my room and Warren, who knew what was up, pretended that he was tired and started to fall asleep.  My lover left the room and I started to grope Warren.  He was wearing short-shorts and his cock made a long, thick bulge from his crotch to the waist of his shorts.  I unzipped him and took his shorts down.  His cock was at least 8" -- maybe more -- circumcised, shapely and very thick, easily twice the thickness of my own, with nice round balls.  At that time I hadn't yet learned the joys of cocksucking and at first I jerked him without a lubricant, and then I added lotion, and then I took my clothes off and lay on top of him and ground my cock onto his.  He made not one motion the entire time, pretending to be asleep.

Now, some men might not like that kind of scene, but I loved it.  His pretending meant that he couldn't tell me what to do.  I could have done anything with him, which gave me a sense of freedom and power.  (Too bad I didn't have more imagination.)  He came after about 20 minutes of jerking and rubbing.

What made this experience so exciting was just the type that Warren was:  Small, slender, cute, boyish, sweet, with a huge dick.  That combination has always made me wild.

There are two things, though, about this experience that I am not proud of:  First, my lover spent the entire time in his room upset and on the verge of tears.  He had set the scene up between me and Warren because he knew I wanted it, but he didn't like it.  Second, Warren was a confused and lonely young man, and I think the last thing he needed was to be sexually exploited, even if he did want it.  My hunger for cock was just so strong that I couldn't resist.

How would you like to hear about the biggest cock I ever had?  Everyone has a biggest-cock story.  It was at the Christopher Street Book Store when I was about 31.  I was downstairs and I had my eye on a white fellow who looked about 27-28, 5'10", slender and lanky, with long hair, and dressed normally in black jeans.  He had a slightly hippie-ish look to him, or like a rock musician.  At one point he disappeared into a large, dark area and I followed.  When I reached out my hand and felt him, a shot of adrenalin went through me.  What I felt was at least 11" long, very thick, rock hard, and jutting straight down his left pants leg more than half-way to his knee.  His cock, it turned out, was not only huge but shapely -- unlike a lot of huge cocks, which are hose-like -- with a nice, gentle curve to the shaft and a large, shapely head.  The skin of it was light-colored, even milky.  (I don't recall what the balls were like.)

Unfortunately, that first electric grope turned out to be the best part of it.  I could only get my mouth half-way down it and I couldn't keep my teeth out of the way.  Deep-throating, which I am not good at, was impossible.  In addition, his cock didn't stay hard; it fluctuated from hard to semi-hard almost continuously.  I wondered at the time how he could get a hard-on without getting faint from lack of blood.

So tell me, Bob, is this good stuff?  Is it publishable?  It is hard for me to tell since I am the one writing it.  I'd like to know your opinion.

All those revisions were not so extensive after all:  On the last go-round I deleted about 20 words, and the section about Warren was written with little editing.

I'll be away on vacation when you get this.  I'll send you some more in about two/three weeks, if you like.

Sincerely,